I'm Ready!!
by Kathryn Kilgore

     There is a time when hearing about the "silver lining", and the "hope to come" is just what we need.

     Now is not one of those times.

     Being unable to find a job is frustrating, humiliating, and isolating.  It is easy to feel hopeless and worthless.  You put your life's work on a single sheet of paper, and are rejected time after time.  You know not to take it personally...these people don't even know you.  There is no way employers can handle the hundreds and sometimes thousands of resumes they receive for every job posting.  It's unrealistic.

     But the God who is supposed to be with us every step of the way, providing for us, loving us...where is He in the rejection?

     I don't subscribe to the health/wealth mentality.  My relationship with God is not a guarantee to a carefree and comfortable life.  I get this...I do.  Somewhere deep inside of me, though, I still think that trying hard and being good is supposed to get me somewhere.
I have wanted to be a teacher since I was seven years old.  Since then, I've tried to do everything right in terms of being the best teacher I can be.  I worked hard in high school and got strong grades so I could get into a good college.  I chose the college because they had one of the best education programs in the country.  Here, I devoted myself to my studies.  Seriously, I devoted myself to my studies.  It cost a lot of money to attend college, and I was there to get my degree.  A strong educational experience would help with the next step of getting a job.  Professors were encouraging:  The teachers produced out of their department were placed on the top of most schools' lists for new hires. 

     I'm telling you, I did everything in my power to try hard and be one of the best.

     And yet, employers were not throwing themselves at my feet.  Shocking.

     I'm embarrassed to say, that I was shocked.  I thought all of my hard work would pay off.  Not monetarily, I don't mean that at all.  But I thought that the years of time and effort would somehow put me ahead.

     Most times, it doesn't feel personal coming from employers...but with God and me, it feels personal.  I'm holding up my end of the bargain, aren't I?  I've done everything I can do, and still I must wait.  I don't like it.  And I'm not going to try and tell you I do. 

     So, I go back to what I know.  God exists, and He loves me.  I don't necessarily feel this right now...but I know it.  So, I stand.

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.  ~  Ephesians 6:13